Avoidance
So… I haven’t posted in a while. Err… 6 months at this point. For some of that time, I have no excuse. Lately, it has been because I haven’t felt right posting other things without posting about a more serious event. Needless to say, I’ve been avoiding this post – but I think it is time.
As many of you know, when I was in New Jersey, I met a girl – Lisa Dzieglewicz. I met her during a crazy/wonderful evening (she’s actually the one who posted the comment as “Rachel Ray”. We began dating – which worked quite well while I was working in NJ for a couple of months straight. She was with me for some of the time I went off-line in the Bahamas, and she’s the one who threatened to beat up a clown and made me realize I was too stressed out back then. We went to NYC around Christmas, spent New Year 2006 in Manhattan, she came to visit me in Colorado, and I went to her sister’s wedding.
We had our rough times. Because of the travel and the fact that I didn’t want to settle down, things got tough. Around thanksgiving last year, we had drifted apart quite a bit – but we were still talking and on very good terms, and I still saw her every time I was in Jersey. The fact of the matter is, she loved me – and I didn’t know what I felt or what I wanted.
On December 1st, 2006 Lisa was killed in a car accident. It wasn’t terrible weather, it wasn’t a drunk driver – she was a passenger, and it was simply a tragic accident.
Needless to say, this hit me – hard. The few days after that are a blur in my mind. I have dealt with death before, but never like this. There is no way to describe it. I’m honestly not sure how I pulled out of the fog – but I do know that there is no way I would have if it wasn’t for those who cared for me so much. My family, my friends, my co-workers – the caring that I got was unbelievable. My love and respect for those who helped me through those days and weeks knows no end. I owe so much to the people around me, though I hope that the need never arises where I can repay them in the way that they helped me.
This post is not for pity, or for sadness. I’m not looking for comments saying “I’m so sorry” or offering help. This is to say thank you to those who were there when I needed them the most, to share some wonderfully happy times from my past – and to say good-bye to a part of my life which is lost.
My mind and thoughts on many things have changed since this. There are things that I will never take for granted, memories that will always be with me – and people that I will cherish forever for the guidance and comfort that they provided me.
I miss you Lisa, and I always will. So many people loved you and cared for you, and you left us much too soon.
April 26th, 2007 at 7:11 am
*hugs*
i’m glad you finally made the post. now you can start looking forward again. i know you aren’t looking for pity, and i am sure you already know this, but if you ever need anything, you can always call on me. just to talk, to laugh, or for a shoulder to lean on, or a comfy couch to crash on. be well, and i hope to see you again soon!
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Awe, Brint. I agree with Diana, it’s so great that you made this post. As always, if you ever need anything we are all here for you. But I gotta say, you are so much stronger through this than I could ever even dream of being. We love you.
August 3rd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
I know you said that you didn’t want sympathy. I just wanted to let you know that I worked with Lisa and had many deep conversations with her while I was fixing her computer.
She was a beautiful person and you are very lucky to have had her in your life, even for a short time.
I am sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been going through. I didn’t know her as deeply as you and this has affected me so greatly.
She is missed and always will be. She was a ray of sunshine in a sometimes very cloudy world.
My thoughts are with you and her family.
September 5th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
I googled Lisa Dzieglewicz and found your post. I know it was posted a long time ago, but I feel the need to comment.
Lisa spoke of you alot and she did love you. I never got the chance to meet you, but I did see you at the funeral. I wish I was part of Lisa’s life more, but time just did not allow it. We got together as much as we could and I was very thankful to spend her last Thanksgiving with her. She came over and made her Grandmothers recipe (stuffed artichokes) and sat around my table as one of my family. My family and I loved her as so and enjoyed her company.
Lisa and I met at Wyant Health Care around 1998 and hit off as friends soon afterwards. As you know she was a beautiful person and I am so thankful for knowing her. I was asked by someone after she passed what I learned from Lisa and I immediately responded to be kind and loving. And I thank her for that.