oh god, hun i know exactly how you feel….and i’ve been doing it for 3 years.

in the last year it has gotten worse though. it is at the point now, when i can’t get approval to do anything, my co-worker got a $700 change request denied and chewed out for even submitting it, and i get yelled at for just saying “fuck it” and doing it myself. it’s next to impossible to do anything now. on top of it all, there is so much political bullshit, and one really unprofessional asshole bringing our whole group down.

he called our application “shit”, and got in my face in a business meeting, saying “i just want to be clear, and make sure everyone knows who makes the descions in the GUI/Architecture space…” then, pointing his finger in each person’s face…”Tim, do YOU understand, Scott, do YOU understand, Diana do YOU understand” and wouldn’t continue the meeting until we all bowed down to his power and said “Yes”…..all because i mentioned that the developers had suggested that we install .NET….a simple installation of a proven technology that would solve many of our problems and make our interface run faster….they all surrrounded me and beat me down to the point that i had to leave a business meeting in tears….and he has never apologized, and my boss did nothing….that is when i decided i had to get out.

so, that is why i am going back to school. to teach, to help people, to do something of meaning and purpose….i want the things i build to last longer than a couple of years before new management comes in and makes us completely re-build the system we already had in 2 months, and then blame us when it doesn’t work perfectly…..

i guess my point is….it only gets worse…unfortuntely, there is a reason everyone is so jaded….work invades everything in your life, slowly, without you noticing, it can twist you into something you hate.

my advice – do some soul searching, and discover your own path….where your voice, energy, intelligence, and passion will actually be appreciated and put to good use making the world better instead of adding to the bullshit….

i know i was devestated when i realized how immature adults actually are, and that the world they have built is held together with duct-tape, bubblegum and spit.